Anthony Gose’s Antics and Kangaroo Court
Last night during the middle of the first inning in a game between the Blue Jays and Red Sox, Anthony Gose threw a warm up throw Colby Rasmus’ way which hit him in the face apparently just below the eye. Rasmas collapsed to his knees and had to leave the game, was transported to hospital and received a CT scan, the results of which are still unknown.
This peculiar incident got me thinking that Gose might be faced with a pending appearance in Kangaroo Court. For those unfamiliar with the term, I first learned of Kangaroo Court via Dirk Hayhurst’s Bullpen Gospels where baseball players hold mock court sessions in the clubhouse to lay fines for perceived or made-up infractions perpetuated by teammates.
So without further ado, here’s my vision of how a Blue Jays kangaroo court session would go with Jose Bautista holding court.
JB: This session of Kangaroo Court is now in progress. First off, we have Mark DeRosa who has triple fined Mr. Gose for his role in last night’s game that everyone was witness too. Will DeRosa please explain the charges?
MD: Yes, I would be most pleasantly pleased to do so. Last night Gose not only threw a practice throw towards Colby that he was not aware of nor prepared to catch, but he hit him in the face, AND, worse yet, took him out of the game. That is a triple fine my friends.
(Rajai Davis speaks up.)
RD: I concur with Mark. I was looking right at him and that ball got him flush. Colby was totally blindsided by it.
JB: Yes, that makes perfect sense. I think we all agree. So Mr. Gose, how do you plead?
AG: I plead not guilty.
JB: Not guilty? (Gasps occur all throughout the clubhouse). Please explain yourself.
AG: Well, I mean it was a total accident. I’m very sad and remorseful about it, but I didn’t mean to hit him in the face or knock him out of the game.
JB: I see. Perhaps then we should hear from the victim in this matter. Colby, will you speak a few words?
CR: Y’all saw what went down. I had no clue he threw the ball already. Then whammy, right in my face! It’s still sore. I might not even play today it’s that sore and swollen.
MD: Whoa, not play today? That’ll make it two games you’ll be knocked out of. That turns this infraction into a quadruple fine!
JB: Yes, a quadruple fine! (Everyone bellows “Here, here”)
AG: But I didn’t mean it. It was just an unfortunate accident. Look, I even texted Colby afterwards telling him how sorry I was.
(JB reads text aloud).
JB: “Hey man, I’m so sorry about what happened. I feel really bad. I owe you dinner big time.”
MD: Then you owe him dinner and have to pay a quadruple fine!
JB: Okay, so all for this verdict, say aye. (Aye’s ring around the room). All opposed, say nay. (The room falls silent). Alrighty then, it’s unanimous. Anthony Gose, you have been served!
Image courtesy of james_in_to