Baseball Karma Is An Unpleasant Female Canine

by KC Baker | Posted on Sunday, July 19th, 2015
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George Springer

The Kansas City Royals pitched my Stros inside all night. They were finishing out their last series at the Juice Box (and got their proverbial butts handed to them by my mighty mighty Stros—boo yeah!). Apparently, the process didn’t sit well with Royals starter Edinson Volquez.  He hit three of my Astros.  I thought that the ride in/up pitch on George Springer may–may have been a mistake.  But the sucker hit him right on the wrist, echoing the tags on Houston icon Jeff Bagwell that took him off the field for way too long.  And now Springer is on the DL by the hand of the Stros most likely playoff rival.

Coinky dink? Hmmm. Don’t know, man.

Marwin Gonzalez may have stepped into the next pitch but that was even worse.  The third hit batsman sealed it.  My friend texted me from his FloraBama beach house as I ate my delicious Mexican shrimp cocktail in Houston at the famous Spanish Flowers restaurant, alerting me about what was to come.

“That’s three, get ready,” he cautioned as Tito looked over his shoulder to assure he wasn’t putting too many onions in the sauce. But it was still a good sauce.

My thoughts, they drifted back to the 1980’s and former Astro Danny Darwin.  He was “Dr. Death.”  The opposing team hit two of his; he went to the mound looking like an undertaker.  He brought the baseball karma and it was nasty as hell.

“Think he’ll do it?” one of the commentators asked.

“What? They don’t call him Dr. Death for nothing,” the other replied.

Darwin busted the boy up, slammed his glove onto the pitch path and marched toward the plate to throw hands.  Dr. Death was personification of baseball karma.

When Darwin was in the twilight in Pittsburgh, he let a pitch hang over the plate to then young Houston superstar Jeff Bagwell.  Bags hit it up into upper deck Stargell territory.  But Jeff didn’t watch it ride; he trotted the bases with class.  Asked later about just how far it went, he was circumspect and respectful.  I paraphrase because the years and beers have stolen my precise memory.

“It was just another home run.  It could have cleared the fence by two feet and it’s the same.  It is just one run.  And I respect Danny Darwin and would never show him up.”

That’s damn right because if he did and came up again, the Doctor would have prescribed chin music for his sorry ass. Jeff understood the baseball karma; it will bite you in the ass. It’s baseball, man.

Springer went down with a pitch I call disrespectful.  Not an intentional pop but way too inside for a key player of a playoff rival.  Perhaps Volquez was angry; or maybe he simply lost the grip.  Still, he stirred the fury of the baseball gods.

The Royals just lost Alex Gordon for a stretch that mirrors the absence of Stros star Springer.  Coinky dink?  Hell no.  I contend that it’s the baseball karma evening out the field.  Danny Darwin sits on his couch, munching nachos, sipping a beer; and he brandishes an evil grin as custodian of the game.

“Take one of mine; I take one of yours.”

A side note; the KC Royals may have put down one of my most mighty mighty Stros. Goody for you. Next man up, as A.J. Hinch would say. We gonna play the game.

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KC Baker
About the Author

K.C. Baker is an old school Astros fan, spending many a hot summer day in the cool confines of the Dome. He just finished his 28th year as a practicing attorney and likes to spend all of his spare time in New Braunfels, Texas with his wife of 29 years and their three children. Follow him on Twitter @KenCBake

  • Homer Simpsoy

    Enjoy plummeting in the standings, buddy. Whatever makes you sleep at night.

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